Random Bitch Fest

If you are appalled by vulgarity, I apologize in advance. The lists includes rants, rhetorical questions and thoughts that go through my head that may or may not make any sense to anyone but me. Perhaps you may know the person or situation I’m bitching about, or perhaps not. I just felt like putting some shit on blast!! Here I go:

What the hell caused me to have 4 migraines in a week?

1. Why do I continually depend on people that I can’t really depend on?
   
2. I must learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes to avoid drama and do the “smile and nod” so they can just say their piece and stop.
   
3. Why is it that I can express myself on how I feel in writing or just in my own thoughts but when faced with the person, I can’t??
   
4. Will I ever be able to assert myself when I see something/someone I like?
   
5. Am I THAT hard to read?
   
6. There are some people I have to learn not to tell who I like even if it is some random guy that we see at the club.
   
7. Year after year, I continue to tolerate someone. They irritate me, I distance myself and a while later, we hang out again. Then they really piss me off and now, I’m wondering why I keep doing this to myself because I find my confidence that I worked so hard on to build up suffers.
   
8. Before you call someone ‘high maintenance’ (FYI: I wasn’t called this), take a look at yourself. Oh and another thing, quit being such a fucking hypocrite!
   
9. The other day, L and I were talking and we started to wonder, why almost ALL the decent guys we know end up with crazy bitches and can’t seem to leave them? Not that we’re hating on the girls…they really ARE crazy…crazy like jealous to the point that if they broke up, one would worry about the next girl he started dating kinda crazy or crazy like they threaten to toss important things i.e. equipment and such off the balcony type crazy!
   
10. Why is it that MOST of, not all of, the people I care about are far away from me?
    
11. I don’t know if it’s just me but why is it this year more so than any other years? There’s soooo much I want to do…concerts, trips etc. Is it because I’m more open to traveling since I went to Charlotte? Or perhaps a lot of musicians decided that Toronto is THE place to visit? I don’t know if I can do all of the things but I’m trying my damnedest to do most! So far there’s only one thing I know I can’t do for sure and that’s going to Philadelphia at the end of July. What really sucks is that it’s the one thing I REALLY wanted to do.
    
12. The heat is here and I’m finding myself having a hard time dealing with it more so than before. I’m starting to get little rashes from being outside and it’s only June! What the fuck????
    
13. I have some of the sweetest guys as friends. Some of them are single, some of them are not. At times, some of my girls talk to me about the single ones and say, “He’s pretty sweet…why don’t you go for him?” “Nah, it ain’t like that. We’re just cool with each other.” I’d always say. A thought crossed my mind, when I told the same thing to another friend…why isn’t it ‘like that’? What is it that makes them unworthy? Or is it me who’s thinking that I’m unworthy? Oh but wait, I bitched about this earlier (see points 3 & 4). I’m too damn shy!

Okay, I'm done! *SIGH* I feel better. Thanks for listening! :)