The Husband Magnet

My family and I are planning a small surprise party for my dad’s 75th birthday...just my dad’s side of the family and us. It’s happening this Saturday. I asked Linh to design tags for the giveaways using a baby picture of him so my sister and I went to Kinko’s late Wednesday night to get them printed.

It was about 10:30 or so when we walked in. There were 3 attendants behind the counter, all male and they all turned at looked at us when we approached. One of them rushed over to us with a huge smile and asked what we needed help with. He was a quite short and stocky black man. I told him that what we needed and suggested we look at paper samples first. We need something thicker than normal paper so he showed us the display. “Y’know what would be better? We don’t necessarily have all that’s in the catalogue in stock. We’re not supposed to do this but why don’t you come to the back and look at what we have?” he suggested. We agreed so we went around the counter and he let me pass. He stopped my sister and said, “Oh, sorry. I can only let one of you through.” I went to the back and he helped me pick out paper. I only needed 2 sheets but he told me to take a few just in case of any mistakes. He then took us to the computer and opened what was on my disk for us. He started complimenting us on the tags and asked what we were doing for conversation as we got them printed. He went over to the printer and then handed us 4 sheets saying he’s only gonna charge us for 2 but wanted to give us extra just in case. He pointed out the paper cutters and said to go ahead and use them. While we were cutting the squares, my sister and I noticed him going all over the place looking for something, going through cupboards and drawers. We didn’t think anything of it and continued what we were doing. We ended up with 48 tags instead of 24. When we approached the counter, he rushed over again and said, “I was trying to look for a hole puncher for you but I couldn’t find it. I’m so sorry.” We told him it was okay and were surprised that he was even looking for one. I took out my wallet, ready to pay and he smiled, saying, “You know what, don’t worry about it. No charge.” We were shocked and I was like, “What?? Are you sure?” “No, no, it’s fine! Hope your party turns out great!” he told us. We said thank you so many times before we left.

On our way home, my sister and I were laughing. Point blank: I usually attract black men…not that I have a problem with it. It’s just usually the ones that do approach, I’m not interested in. People have said, “Leave it to Vee. If there is one black man in the room, chances are he’ll come and talk to her!” It’s so bad and I’m made fun of all the time! “What is it with you and black guys? And it’s not just black guys, they’re usually really short and nasty?” my sister said, laughing. I called Linh up and told her what happened. She could not stop laughing. “You’re such a husband magnet!” I was told by either my sister or Linh. The way we use the word ‘husband’ is not what you think. When we say ‘husband’, it’s usually quite the opposite. A ‘husband’ is usually a man who’s really nasty. He could have crazy hair or a tacky way of dressing, perhaps gold teeth or teeth that’s crooked or missing. Basically it’s the opposite of your personal ideal! The criteria of a ‘husband’ for me tends to be quite short, tacky dressing and whatever else! I’ve been approached by quite a few and it’s always so embarrassing! We got home and told my mom the whole story. “Is he black?” she asked and we said yes, starting to laugh like crazy again!

What is it with me and black guys? No, seriously! What?? It’s crazy ridiculous! If only I could get this type of attention from men I actually want!