What I'm Feelin...

I know I always have some reason as to why I’m not posting often and this time, I will be straight and blunt. I haven’t written much because I have been really low since the beginning of September, so low that I don’t have the desire to do anything. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not gonna do something drastic. I know what’s wrong, I’m trying to keep my spirits up but, it’s really hard at times.
I won’t go into too much detail but the main hardship I’m facing has to do with my mama. In the beginning of September, she went for a follow up CT scan and found out that the tumor in her chest has grown. She’s been undergoing chemotherapy for a few weeks now. While it’s going okay considering everything, it really has me shook and things have gotten a little more difficult at home. I have crying spells then I get pissed at myself for crying and cry again because I’m mad. Lol! I even laugh at that when I type it, it does seem silly but it is what it is.
I’m not one to reach out for help. The way I deal with it is to try and have fun, spend time with people I care about, whether it be on the phone because most of my friends are in the US or in person. Some people have really stepped up to really be there for me and for that, I am truly grateful.
I did have some fun times a couple weeks back that I will get into in my next entry which WILL be soon! Promise! I’m also looking forward to the NYC trip I booked. I’ll be there from Oct 21- 25. Hopefully that will lift my spirits to where they need to be!!

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